She wears an outfit that is constantly changing
The girl who was standing their yesterday
Is gone
Do not despair, she’ll be back
When the outfit has been washed and dried
Today its the little girl with ribbons in her hair
Tomorrow she has lopped it all off
It’s a constant fight and struggle
The music, the outfits, and the people
She surrounds herself with keep changing
And she changes with them
Emotional miss-regulation
Such a silly pantomime.
With this person she is Lara
With another Aral
With this one Rala
She dances a mixed up dance
Indian, Steampunk, Gothic
Can’t decide what she stands for
Cant figure out who she’s meant to be
The grumpy mood of someone she loves
Poisons the air she breathes
Sends her spinning and twirling
To collapse on the floor, like a cloud
Of black has taken hold of her throat
Honest communication doesn’t work
She just scares everyone off
Perhaps it pleases her to be so alone
But a second later she wants to be surrounded
By the cacophony of a group of people
Sharing the delight of living and happiness
She wants to stretch out her fingers and touch the stars
But she’s gone and put her foot in it
Questioned someone else’s happiness
Just because she could feel it emanating
And seeping into the pores of her skin
Now she faces their resentment and anger
And she goes away back to the loneliness
Of living on the borderline
She sick of it. Sick of the laughter then the tears
Sick of the loneliness
Sick of being unable to move from acquaintance
To friendship
From friendship to relationship
And in these moments late at night
Comforting companion, her suicidal contemplations
Its clear to her now, she’s driven herself mad.
How can she stop her brain from THINKING.
jindaleeartemesia 